Raspberry Road

Depression days are so hard. Thank goodness I don’t have them more than I do. But I have them often. Multiple days a month. I spend many days in bed. I don’t want to be there. I feel dumb. I feel like it’s such a waste of time. I desire to do things and get… Continue reading

March 27, 2026 I was in Jeni’s car with her and her kids, driving home from St George. We were dropping off Blake at his house because he came with us. Kalli got a call and it was Ren telling her to have me check my phone. He had tried to call me but my… Continue reading

Even though life is so dang hard right now, so suffocating and frightening- I get to sit on this beautiful balcony right off my bedroom and enjoy the incredible view. I feel so lucky. It’s beautiful. The sun shining on my face, the birds singing and the squirrels running through the trees. There are so… Continue reading

I’m so tired. I’m so slow and behind and barely holding on. Barely keeping up. I can’t do it. I’m trying so hard and I’m drowning. I actually can’t do it. I cannot do it. So what do I do?? When I go to bed at night exhausted and overwhelmed I lay on my pillow… Continue reading

2/16/2026 I have a lot of hard days. Down days. Get through the day. Survive days. It’s really annoying and frustrating and so sad. And hard. My body hurts. My mind hurts. I try so hard. Figure it out. Sit in it. Let it be. Work at it. What helps?? What is wrong?? I really… Continue reading

Right after I got called to be the YW camp director, they also called me to be a RS teacher. I had to think about that. I had to consider my mental illness struggles, and the load in my life right now- girls camp, Ella’s wedding, Ren’s lacrosse season, Ren graduating, Ren going on a… Continue reading

Well. As of today we are out of money. There isn’t any guaranteed money coming from Setema. Honestly I’m so ticked about it. I hate that job. Working with Setema. It’s completely unreliable and not sustainable long term. It’s sooo frustrating for me. Major understatement. And it’s Nick’s job. It is what he has chosen… Continue reading

January 14-18, 2026 What an amazing week we just had. It was so special and filled with love and the spirit! We just lived most of the plan of salvation in one week 🙂 On Wednesday the 14th Jensen came home from his mission!! He served in California and had a great time, although it… Continue reading

Fast Sunday is hard. Really hard for our whole family. Not fun. Yesterday we ate at 4:00 and Eric and Madi were with us. They sat at the table with us but didn’t eat because they were fasting until 6. Madi’s family was having a special fast together for her brother Stockton who is on… Continue reading

Closing song today in sacrament meeting. Such a good message. I really felt the third verse. Lead me home. Fast and testimony meeting today. Always so good. I love hearing the testimonies. This Draper ward has such smart diverse people in it. I really enjoy them. I wanted to bear my testimony, but just feel… Continue reading